14 Comments
User's avatar
Quest's avatar

FAQ is very helpful - even I thought plaid and the Subaru might count …

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nina's avatar

Finally.

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FionnM's avatar

"Sweetheart, that's all very nice. But if you're not going to eat pussy, you're not a dyke." - Patty, Sex and the City

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Alex Overton Overdone's avatar

I love this, so much! Thank you.

Yes, and YES! 😉😇

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Leonie Zurakowsky's avatar

Hilariously perfect as per all of your amazing essays. Sharing on X to show those nasty male scumbags all empowered by the Trumpist win. Of course Harris was going to destroy the country but now he can enable misogyny on a grand scale!

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Aurora's avatar

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 you are horrible lol

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Citternist's avatar

Very funny! 😄 Thank for your labor.

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FionnM's avatar

Years ago, I knew a woman who identified as a lesbian. One time we were out and she mentioned having gone to bed with a man a few nights before.

I was confused, and asked her "I thought you were a lesbian?"

"Oh, I am."

"But you had sex with a man."

"Yeah, but there was no attraction, so it doesn't count."

What's your stance on this? (A few years later this person came out as non-binary, which might be relevant.)

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JC's avatar

Not accurate - that doesn't reflect how the word is used. One survey found about 50% of people calling themselves lesbians do in fact sometimes date or have sex with men. You're imposing a purist view on the word that does not reflect real-life lesbian communities.

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Sue Donym's avatar

'A purist view of the word'? You can be a purist about a word to describe exclusive female homosexuality?

No one ever does this to gay men, despite the fact that lavender marriages are still very much a thing. There are plenty of gay men who have married women and have an entire secret life on the side. No one ever doubts they're homosexual.

But god forbid women do it. God forbid exclusively homosexual women stake out their claim on their word. The origins of the word are from the lesbian communities in the 50s, and they all intended it to mean 'exclusive homosexuality'. But no according to you, in 'real-life lesbian communities, 'lesbians sleep with men sometimes'. What next, female homosexuality doesn't exist?

Just because bisexual women have appropriated a word that was never theirs to start with doesn't mean the definition of the word changes, bro.

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JC's avatar

Your post seems contradictory.

You just "no one does this to gay men" but in fact plenty of bi men call themselves gay, me included!

Then you say "plenty of gay men married women... no one doubts they're homosexual." Right, they're still gay, even if they've dated or hooked up with or married women.

It's the same with lesbians - they're still lesbians, even if they've dated or hooked up with men.

Please talk to some real-life lesbian communities - they include bi women as well. The word has never meant exclusively gay.

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FionnM's avatar

One-third of people who call themselves vegetarian eat meat when they're drunk (https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/10/08/survey-vegetarians-secretly-eat-meat-drunk/73583378/). This fact doesn't change the fact that a vegetarian is a person who doesn't eat meat. Accuse me of imposing a purist view on the word "vegetarian" that does not reflect real-life vegetarian communities - I don't care. That's what the word means.

As an aside, I do wish "trans-vegetarian" (I'm not a vegetarian, but I IDENTIFY as one) would catch on.

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Publius Americus's avatar

Back in the David Bowie days of Glam Rock, Lou Reed was equally insistent about performative gayness. For him, the acid test was fellatio.

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Jennine's avatar

Brava 👏 excellent!! 😂

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